I’ve always loved clothes and dressing up. I use fashion as a way to express myself. I take inspiration from trends, travel, music, movies, etc. But this wasn’t always the case. When I was in grade school up until early high school where I would dress like a tomboy. I didn’t like skirts or dresses so I would wear jeans all the time. I also used to always size up when buying shirts since I like the baggy, oversized fit. And I was heavily into sneakers (I still am). I always asked my parents for new kicks or promised to pay them back through my allowance. Yes, I spent most of my allowance on sneakers. I vividly remember walking into a Nike store in Power Plant Mall because there was a sale. I came across two pairs of Air Force 1s. One was pink and the other was blue, and I couldn’t decide which one to get that I ended up buying both. Side note: I just recently got rid of those pairs because they didn’t fit me anymore.
I had so many pairs of sneakers and they were the only kinds of shoes that I had in my wardrobe. I didn’t own flats, sandals, boots, or heels. Sneakers were my go-to. So much so that I even wore them to high school parties. I would throw on one of the only skirts I had, a top, and black slip-on vans. If you look at old photos of me at a high school party, everyone towered over me because they would wear heels. That wasn’t really my thing.
However, I remember getting comments from batch mates asking me why I didn’t wear heels. These comments affected me negatively. I felt some sort of pressure to dress and look a certain way because everyone else was doing it. So, I started wearing heels and bodycon dresses and skirts that were really short. This happened up until the start of college.
Eventually, I realized that I started to look like everyone else and I didn’t feel authentic or real anymore. I felt like I got eaten by a system that wasn’t accepting of my taste in clothes. So, I started to experiment. There was a time when I started shopping a lot for random pieces, a lot of them didn’t makes sense but that’s okay. During this time I tried to find out what my style really was and the types of clothes I felt good in. I bought a lot of patterned silk-like tops, oversized outerwear, crop tops, etc.
After a few years of hits and misses, I feel like I’ve figured it out. In the last two or three years, I’ve been really confident in what I’ve been wearing. Now, I would say that my style is a mix between feminine and masculine pieces. I still prefer trousers so I have a lot of them, some are even the same style in different colors (thanks, Uniqlo). I still like the oversized fit so I have T-shirts and jackets that are big on me. Despite this, I also found that I can be girly sometimes too, which is why I have a few dresses in my closet that make me feel sexy and I do wear heels sometimes but only if the occasion calls for it. Since I also started feeling more confident with my body, I have see-through tops, bralettes, and crop tops. I’m all for making a statement so people who have seen me will know that I wear lots of prints, bold colors, or anything shiny. Looking back at old photos, my style and confidence has definitely evolved but sneakers are still a big part of where I draw my inspiration from.
Art by Marian Hukom
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