March 27, 2018

Remembering Who You Are, Not What You Are

2018 0327 MOMHOOD_metime

Every week, Preen tackles motherhood sans the rose-tinted glasses. Our columnists L. JulianoMarla DarwinMonica Eleazar-ManzanoRossana Unson, and Ronna Capili-Bonifacio tell their personal experiences like it is—at times frustrating, oftentimes confusing, but always enlightening.

So March is Women’s Month. As we come to the end of this month, I think about a lot of great women in my life—my mom, my sisters, my daughters, and my friends who are all very strong women, despite whatever trials they’re going through in life. Women, in general, are a strong bunch, simultaneously playing multiple roles on a daily basis. One has to be strong to be able to handle playing a multitude of roles all in one day, sometimes, all at the same time! Take myself for example: I am always a mother. In the office, I’m a manager. To my employees, I’m a boss and to my significant other, I am (sometimes, when the day’s gone well) a loving partner. I’m a daughter, a sister, a friend, an acquaintance, and a writer.

And then, after weeks of playing all these roles, I suddenly realize I’m tired, cranky, and really really missing someone or something, that I can’t place my finger on until it dawns on me. I’m really missing ME.

I’ve been playing so many roles, trying to do as much as I can for everyone who needs something from me; the kids, work, the helpers, social media, etc., that I have actually forgotten to just take a step back and be myself.

Now, how many of you, dear readers, realize that you haven’t seen yourself in quite a while? Yes, I’m pretty sure a lot of you are wondering where the “you” you used to know has gone. As I sit here and type out this post, I recall, that I like long, luxurious baths and lying in bed, watching a good movie or reading a book, sitting in a large open field and looking up at the clouds. Then I think back and sadly, I can’t remember when I last did this. There’s always something holding some “me” time back. A meeting that must be attended, a presentation that has to be put together, a PTA session in school or a cake that has to be baked for someone’s pleasure. All noble tasks indeed, but…where are you in all of this? The one who wants to read a book, take a long bath, or lie down for a whole afternoon and rest? The message is quite simple. Don’t let go of yourself so that you can play all these roles, yes for yourself, but more for other people.

“Me time” isn’t just about getting your nails done or having a spa session with a friend, it’s about remembering who you were before you had to play all these roles and getting to know that person again.

I am pretty sure that when you find yourself, underneath the layers of roles and responsibilities that life has thrust upon you and that you’ve accepted so graciously, it will be like meeting a long, lost friend.

Let’s not wait until next Women’s Month to dig up ourselves again! Re-acquaint yourself with you, have a drink, a coffee, or a matcha latte and congratulate yourself for the wonderful job you’ve done.

Happy Women’s Month!

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.


Art by Yayie Motos

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Filed Under:

culture, Me Time, momhood, Motherhood, relationships, self-care, Women's Month

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