Welcome to Ask Poppy! I’m Poppy, your go-to girl for all of life’s woes. And when I say ALL, I MEAN IT. I’m not an expert on anything except maybe for being me, which makes me totally qualified to do this.
I might have a hoarding problem. You see, I love clothes, accessories, and shoes―who doesn’t, right? Like, when I see something I like, I buy it immediately, or save up until I can buy it. It’s come to a point wherein I don’t have any space in my closet (more like my apartment) anymore. I think I might even be spending majority of my salary on clothes.
But what’s worse is probably the fact that I can’t let go of the ones I don’t really wear anymore. A part of me is saying, “What if I’ll need that one-year unused dress for a future event?” While the other part is nagging me to get more closet space.
What do I do? How do I convince myself to let go, and eventually, control my impulsive hoarding? I really hope you can help, Poppy!
It’s not a problem, it’s probably a disorder. I am not a psychologist, so I really can’t tell the specifics of your “addiction,” but them smart people refer to it as “oniomania.” Now this is not a “millennial” thing, it’s not a generational thing, it’s just a thing that has been in existence since the early 20th century. I mean, they didn’t have OLX or those insane black dresses from Zalora back then. Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating because “oniomaniacs” are those who have amassed debt and are now totally, utterly poor. Like dirt poor.
I mean, you’re not as trashy as that aren’t you, Jessica?
Being an oniomaniac should be at the top of your must-not-happen-to-me list. There is still hope for you. You’re not spending all your salary on clothes pa naman, so you must be in the clear yet. But how do you stop this compulsive buying behavior?
Jessica, I know it’s hard but it will be quite a journey for you. Girl, the fact that you’re aware that there’s a problem should already be a warning sign for you. So, let’s start with the basics first: You have to get rid of the clothes that you don’t need.
One thing that you can do is that you Marie Kondo the sh*t out of your entire wardrobe. If you’ve been living under the rock, Marie Kondo is the world’s rock star of tidying up. This soft-spoken tita from Japan has been teaching celebrities from all over the world on how to keep their massive megamillion mansions tidy by doing the Japanese thing: minimalize everything.
It is public knowledge that Japan can sometimes be better than the average human being. They have the coolest things like a vending machine for used panties. They don’t like having sex because they’re busy with other things. So like, material things are considered passé. In Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, she explains how things that does not spark joy should be trashed or passed down, only to be sold at some random ukay-ukay in Cubao.
When I told my partner that I am about to endeavor such a magical lifestyle, that little sh*thead tousled my hair and said: “Ulol.” After such an encouraging gesture, I went off to buy the book. I finished it and my room is still filled with crap. I’m not saying that it doesn’t work, I’m just saying that I am not a proper human being. I learned important things like folding socks properly because if you roll them up, their emotions might be harmed. You don’t want to harm the feelings of your socks, Jessica. Especially since you subjected them to the daily horrors of walking from one place to another. Poor socks.
Marie Kondo likes to talk about joy. She wants you to question of things that spark joy. Joy is in a whole ‘nother level compared to happiness. Of course having a thing that you once desired, having something that you got because you spent your hard-earned cash on to purchase it is something that sparks happiness within you. You’re happy that you got this thing and you’re going to wear it maybe once or twice and then it’ll end up being piled up inside your closet, causing you more stress and worry. That’s the thing about being happy—it’s such an addicting feeling that you can’t shake off. You gotta have it. You’re prepared to throw your money on those brands that are clamoring for your cash just to have that thing.
When it comes to throwing away your clothes, I would suggest getting rid of the cheesy looking clothes first. I mean, you’re not perfect, girl. There’s bound to be something in your wardrobe that’s truly horrendous. Ask help from your friends and spend an entire afternoon drinking margaritas and checking out if a specific item of clothing doesn’t make you look like a homeless person with a drinking problem. Marie Kondo says nothing about this because she can sometimes be a square chick, but I feel like getting your friends involved and allowing them to spew hate on your poor choice of clothing items would make for an interesting Facebook livestream.
If ever you don’t have any friends, you can simply sort out your clothes. Don’t throw out the expensive ones because duh, but do get rid of the cheap ones first. I’m saying this because you might want to stop looking like a cheap lady. Also, stop worrying about wearing that thing to the future event because if you end up becoming poor from too much shopping, you won’t have any event to attend, honey. It’s easy to let go naman, Jessica.
Another way to veer away your attention from all the shopping is to train your mind to save. AND SAVE PROPERLY. I know it’s so easy to blow your cash on useless crap upon the arrival of sweldo, but you can really use that money for greater things. I mean, first, think about your health, girl. What if one day, ma-dengue ka? Where will you get your money for that half-a-month battle? And then there’s THE FUTURE! It’s easy to just look at the now and buy all the crap you don’t need naman. But when you think about the future, you still have a lot of things to spend on. Um, like maybe you want a house of your own? How about a car? Or maybe tuition for your child’s future?
Instead of dwelling in the now, why don’t you look ahead in the future? Think about all the great things that you can do with that money if you just control your shopping habits? You can maybe go to an exotic destination or use that money to invest in the stock market and buy a f*cking yacht when you make it big. You don’t know sh*t about the future, but you steer your course well enough, you just might end up in a fantasy island that can be all yours.
Jessica, think of your old clothes as bad boyfriends. Like, why would you keep wearing them if they’re jerks and they don’t fit no more? Why keep them if they’re so last season? If you can Marie Kondo your life, then that would be great. Because only you can provide real joy. Buying crap will only make you happy. Getting rid of crap you don’t need will spark joy.
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Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author in her private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of Preen.ph, or any other entity of the Inquirer Group of Companies.
Art by Trish Rivera
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