This is how a weak drinker’s night at a speakeasy goes.
Everybody else would be ordering the rums and gins, while she sits there saying, “Just water, please!” Or, if she changes her mind, asks for a pretty drink. Her homies need to think she’s sipping something spiked or else she can’t convince them she had a good night.
But first: We have to know what to drink. I caught up with young bar and café Unit 27 for possible cocktails, and I couldn’t help but ask resident mixologist Richmond Marquez, “What’s the ideal drink for the weak?” To answer, he whipped us five concoctions that are easy to down without ears turning red.
These chic drinks—yes, not chick drinks, ‘cause anyone and their fathers can drink these if they wanted to—are harmless by appearance. Be surprised by how much alcohol they can still contain that you can tolerate.
#1 Amaretto Sour
Amaretto, sweet and sour mix
House blend juice
Orange slice, for garnish
For Unit 27’s favored drink, the citrus juice overwhelms the 26 percent alcohol content to the point of drowning any alcoholic flavors. Don’t ever make the mistake of handing it out to a kid, though—it tastes so wholesome, you’ll think you’re drinking sparkling orange juice on a bright sunny day.
#2 Dark Knight Mojito
The berry taste is refreshing at first, until its spiking ingredients hit you. You easily taste the 30 to 40 percent alcoholic content, leaving you breathless from a tinge of its fiery aftermath. The alcohol is stronger in this one, but that mountain of ice on top works to tame the drink for you. Talk to your peers long and hard, so you can also finish that drink with a bit of dignity.
#3 Malibu House
Malibu coconut rum
Torched bananas with brown sugar, for garnish
How can something so sweet be so alcoholic all along? The mix of melon, pineapple, and banana flavors make this drink feel so healthy, you’d want it all day long—until the combination of liquors kick in. Take it easy with this one, ‘cause its 40 to 50 percent alcoholic content requires you to drink it slowly. If that becomes hard, focus on the darn good bananas.
#4 Bora Sunset
Captain Morgan rum
Grenadine, for color